Portal 2: Now with 2x as many Portals! [PC]

Sorry my brothers and sisters in green, the cake is still a lie. If you’re anything like me, you had countless hours of fun in Portal just messing around with the genius and outrageous physics of it all. The only thing I was worried about at first was the length of the game, but Portal 2 smacked me in the face with more levels than I had expected, along with a whole co-op campaign to boot. The Spaceman and I had way TOO much fun fucking around with portals and sending each other to their doom. If you didn’t see it coming, GLaDOS makes another appearance and even an unlikely ally.

Chell is yours to control again as that crazy bitch of an AI named GLaDOS runs you through some invigorating tests to warm you up on your portal making skills (or introduce you to them if you we’re living under a rock when Portal came about). You’re not alone; a charming little British-bot helps you concoct an escape plan. Aside from letting you know that the guy who played J. Jonah Jameson in the Spider-Man movies does some VA work, to spoil anything else would be criminal… Just like that menace Spider-Man! Who is he? What is he hiding?




The basic concept is the same in both games; you have this crazy ass gun that shoots portals, you run through a bunch of mazes. This could get stale, but Valve threw in a bunch of neat mechanics that help you complete the challenges, like goop that lets you go superfast or jump really high to tractor beams with reversible polarity, making you think outside the box, probably using portals to get outside of it in the first place. If that isn’t enough for you, then you can bring a friend to this crazy rat maze called Aperture Science. I have to give credit to the level designers, the way they have the players and their portals work together, the co-op in Portal 2 has been the trippy-est gaming experience I’ve had in a while.


Valve has hit a homerun with this one. The co-op is so fucking cool I can’t do it justice describing it. Fans of GLaDOS get some closure, plus we get a grand tour of the Aperture labs, a cool expansion on the game universe. The difficulty isn’t too bad either, even if you do get too high to figure out what to do, you can take a short break and stretch your legs, maybe even a toke or two more, and the solution to the portal problem will dawn on you. The only real problems I have about Portal 2 is the same I had with the first, replay value or lack thereof, and the universe collapsing in on itself from playing god with physics.

15.5 out of 17 gravity bongs