Portal 2: Now with 2x as many Portals! [PC]

Sorry my brothers and sisters in green, the cake is still a lie. If you’re anything like me, you had countless hours of fun in Portal just messing around with the genius and outrageous physics of it all. The only thing I was worried about at first was the length of the game, but Portal 2 smacked me in the face with more levels than I had expected, along with a whole co-op campaign to boot. The Spaceman and I had way TOO much fun fucking around with portals and sending each other to their doom. If you didn’t see it coming, GLaDOS makes another appearance and even an unlikely ally.

Crysis 2 in Crysis [PC]

ALIENS! CITY IN RUINS! INTRIGUE! Crysis 2 offers all these and a nano-suit to boot. This sweet ass nano-suit makes you a super soldier; increasing strength, speed, endurance and all sorts of stuff, the suit even has a stealth mode. This time around instead of a remote jungle island, you’re smack dab in the middle of a ruined New York City. Aliens have come to fuck shit up, and fuck shit up they have.

Pokemon Back in Black & White [Nintendo DS]

The next generation of Pokemon is here! The Black and White editions usher in the fifth generation of pokemon games, with a new region to get lost in and another ~150 pokemon to commit to memory. Oh, and of course all these newer pokemon rank from preciously cute to monstrously awesome. Even the graphics got an upgrade, allowing a third-person view at times that allow for amazing vistas even on my crappy, ancient DS screen.

Thou shalt become the very best

As always the game starts out with a pokemon professor introducing themselves, asking your name and your gender. You know, being a bigwig scientist and all they should be able tell what sex you are, damn it. Instead of naming your rival, you are introduced to your two friends, a competitive young chap named Cheren and Bianca, an adorably awkward lady friend. It will seem even newer when you first meet Team Plasma, a 16-bit PETA trying to reform the relationship between human and pokemon with methods taken out of Magneto’s playbook.

The Age of Tiny Dragons II [PC]

In this second installment of the Dragon Age epic by Bioware, I had the pleasure of living out my Conan the Barbarian-esque fantasy of killing hundreds of men and bedding as many women.

Who's your daddy and what does he do!?

The game’s story is broken up into acts that allow the story to evolve how Bioware intends but still allows the player choice in the direction or pace their Hawke becomes the Champion, either defending the persecuted mages or help the templars keep them down. As always, the companions you gather in this post-blight world have memorable personalities that will develop quite richly given the chance, from your annoying, doomed little sibling to your love interest you will fight to the end for.